hmmm...sebenarnye lama dah niat nak story about this, tp disebabkan kekangan masa...lambat la skit.
Everything start smoothly... till in May i found that my EBM stock is running out... only 14 bottles left that time. OMG. mcm mane bleh x perasan ni. starting from Mac i've been very2 bz...site meeting every 2 weeks, my master's subjects that requires many assignments... with 3 classes a week... i just manage to pump once a day, i got only 5-8oz. But Hafiy consume 10oz per day and 15 oz for day & night on the day that i have class...imagine...panic! Mama advice to mkn kuning telur mentah + madu. seelok-eloknya telur ayam kampung. tp kalo xde, telur biasa pon bleh. Mama suh mkn every day, tp kalo takut panas, selang sehari pon ok. Mula2 aku x sanggup gak nak telan, tp memikirkan anak, telan jela. Hmmm...not bad, kuning telur tu bila campur madu die akan jd masak separuh. sedap je. And starting from May, i tried to anyhow pump twice a day... lantak la bos nak memekik cari ke, tefon berdering x berjawab ke....lantak! Tekad... Hari yg ade class, i pump 3 times, usually at 11am, 3.30pm & after class 9.30 pm. Tp yg kul 3.30 pm tu slalu gagal...keje kene settlekan sbb nak blk on time, kalo tak lambat plak masuk kelas, so aku akan pump dlm kete odw ke kelas. Pump yg aku ade tu spectra je pon. Aku x selesa buat double pumping, slalu single pumping je tp aku buat selang seli, kejap kanan, kejap kiri. Dlm kete celah mana lak nak cucuk plag tuh...manual la beb! lenguh tangan2 ni..demi Hafiy mama tabahkan hati. Abis kelas, pam lg...manual gak. so a day i manage to get 10-15oz. Tu utk cover daily consumption jerk...stock skrang cume ade 6 x 5oz.
Since monday, aku demam + batuk plak...mkn ubat, mkn supplement, tetibe bile pam mcm merundum... semalam la paling ketara. Aku mc...so dr pg sampai ptg aku ngan Hafiy kat umah, direct feed jela. Pg tu bila Hafiy tido, aku pam jap...dpt 1oz je....sedih. Dlm hati ckp maybe sbb aku direct feed arini kot. Fine...ptg antar Hafiy ke umah nanny die, sbb ade kelas. Odw gi kelas pam lg, dpt 1oz gak...sedih. tp x nak pikir...Hubby ckp lepas kelas kang try lg. Lepas kelas pam dpt la dlm 2.5oz...terus aku nangis! Sejak 2-3 hari kebelakangan ni aku sensitif skit...x tau nape. Cepat terasa hati, emosional skit. Bertambah2 la berjurai air mata, dlm hati "Hafiy...Hafiy...Hafiy..." mcm putus cinta tahu! sedih membayangkan kalo x bf Hafiy lg...owh...x sanggup. Pikir jugak agaknye masa Hafiy direct feed cukup ke eh...kenyang tak die. Setakat ni xde la ngamok2 time ngepeng tu. Arini aku stop mkn ubat, supplement... pg ni aku pam, alhamdulillah dpt 5.5oz. petang ni dpt 4 oz je =( "farhana, keep on pumping" usaha + tawakal.
deep inside my heart..i still believed Allah tahu niat aku...and x kan hampakan aku...
tp aku x tau perancanganNya utk aku & Hafiy. Wish me luck...
p/s: aku mmg xde idea nak beli fm ape kalo tetibe xde susu...adeh.
